By: Chelsie Jaques
White teeth and bright red lipstick
The two combined leave traces behind
Seen only to some as a blemish or stain
To other tells a story of happiness or shame
A kiss on a handkerchief
From the day you left for war
A kiss left on the cheek
A gift from grandma when you turned 18
A kiss left on the wine glass
From the night he proposed
A kiss left on the collar
From the night he didn’t come home
A kiss left on someone’s hand
To say never forget me
If the trace of a kiss can tell all this
Imagine what the heart could tell
If it could be left behind
I really enjoyed the flow of this poem especially the section that talked about all the different types of kisses in a person's life. Change tells to tell in order to fit grammatically with a plural subject. Interesting ending!
ReplyDeleteI like the detail in your poem. The poem flowed nicely. I like how you use "Kiss" as a sort of theme of your poem. Nice poem I enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI like this poem a lot and the way that it flows. You had a good sense of idea behind this poem. Maybe add something to make it a bit personal.
ReplyDeleteI thought your poem flowed very smooth and easy to follow. I liked how you used kiss to show all these memories. You could maybe expand on the ending a little bit.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Mrs.Ross about the different types of kisses, and how you showed each one. I think that maybe you could details to make it a little more personal. Just a suggestion, its good the way it is though :)
ReplyDeleteI like how the poem shows that so many memories in our lives involve kisses. I actually can't think of anything to improve.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem. I liked how it showed all the different kisses. I just thought you could improve it by showing a little more imagery.
ReplyDeleteI love this poem. i think it is very creative and really like the part, "A kiss left on the wine glass From the night he proposed". i think maybe to add more effect on the poem, add some alliteration.
ReplyDeleteWow! That was really good I liked it a lot it had a lot of meaning and it was something a lot of people could relate to. You could maybe be a little more descriptive and maybe the title could be more creative.
ReplyDeleteI like the way this poem flows. It made me realize what kiss marks can really mean. You could maybe work on the ending. I didn't really get it.
ReplyDeleteChelsie, i like the flow of this poem.
ReplyDeleteI really like the details, and the meaning behind the poem. Maybe you could make it more personal.